Many of us walk around feeling like imposters in our own adult lives. We go through the motions—jobs, bills, relationships—but something always feels slightly off, like we’re pretending. That lingering sense of fraudulence can be deeply rooted in something we don’t always think to address: our wounded inner child and teenager.

Healing your inner child and teen isn’t just some vague therapeutic idea. It’s an essential part of truly growing up. Until we meet and care for the parts of ourselves that got hurt, neglected, misunderstood, or silenced in childhood and adolescence, we carry those wounds into adulthood. And they often manifest as insecurity, self-doubt, people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional numbness, or intense fear of failure.

As children, we needed safety, love, attention, and validation. When those needs weren’t fully met—whether through trauma, emotional neglect, unstable family dynamics, or societal pressures—we learned to cope. We created protective patterns that once kept us safe but now keep us small. These younger parts of us still live inside, influencing how we see the world, how we relate to others, and most importantly, how we relate to ourselves.

The teenage self is often overlooked in healing work, but it’s just as important. Our teens held the heavy burden of discovering identity in a confusing world, often with limited guidance or support. If your teen self was silenced, shamed, or overwhelmed, they may still be showing up in your adult life—rebelling, shutting down, or craving external validation.

When we feel like imposters as adults, it’s often because we’re trying to be someone we think we should be, rather than someone we feel safe being. That pressure usually comes from the child or teen within us who didn’t get to express their full self without fear. Healing means returning to those moments of wounding—not to stay there, but to offer compassion, understanding, and protection that our younger selves never received.

Healing your inner child and teen doesn’t mean reliving trauma every day. It means recognizing when those parts are running the show. It means pausing when you’re about to spiral into self-criticism and asking, Who in me feels unsafe right now? Then, responding with the love, validation, or boundaries they needed back then.

As we do this, we start to step into true adulthood—not just the age, but the emotional experience of being grounded, whole, and real. We begin to trust ourselves. We no longer feel like we’re faking it because we’re no longer abandoning the parts of us that never got to grow up with care.

Feeling like a grown-up isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about being in relationship with all of who you are, especially the younger yous who needed more than they got. When you give them what they needed, you stop performing adulthood and start living it—for real.

And that’s where the imposter fades.